Here is a better explanation of what is going on.
Another MaryAnne DiCanto poem of sorts.
Sorry everyone, turns out this is my best way of expressing the loss.
These days I go to bed to the sound of the birds waking up.
Those hours just before sunrise when everything is perfectly still.
These days I roam the house at night as if I’m the ghost.
I use to stay up until everyone was safe at home and tucked in.
Even now I ask the kids to text me when they get home.
These days the vigil is for my baby who is never coming home again.
My mind knows this to be true but there is a disconnect with the rest of me.
You see, when someone is terminally ill, you live on hope.
Hope for another year, month, week, day, or moment.
The patient may die but the hope lives on. It’s a hard diet to break.
So these days are clouded by conflict between a false hope that won’t surrender to reality.
About Scott & MaryAnne: MaryAnne was originally diagnosed with Stage 2 B in July 2003 at the age of 46. She was later diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer in January 2013. MaryAnne always said that the hardest part about her was the effect of her impending death on husband Scott and her daughter. Scott and their family lost MaryAnne in May 2017. Since then, he has been sharing his love for MaryAnne and the effect her loss has had on him on Facebook. We are honored to share in their life and story in this tribute page, Life Beyond Breast Cancer.
Also published on Medium.